Stupid

Without chris, i went into a hostel. I was 21 and glad the hostel existed, i took my brother with me as he had started taking drugs to cope with my dads abuse. I met a few junkies in the hostel, but managed to keep out of their way, got good at avoiding ppl since i was ten. But i did make friends with a bunch of alcoholics, and started to drink cheap cider constantly....i hooked up with one and we were not good for each other, he used me and my self esteem was really bad, i did have a chance to get back with chris and he asked me to marry him but didn't take it, am not sure why, i guess alcohol does make you make stupid choices. Anyway got pregnant again and stopped drinking immediately, but at 9 weeks i lost this baby too. This was the first time i felt depressed since living at home. I was 22 yrs old. Another d and c and booked in for blood tests.